I have to say a HUGE THANK YOU for Robin writing this blog article for us. We know it was not an easy request. We get articles from what it is like from a parents and siblings perspective and thought it would be great to hear from someone who grew up with a friend with a terminal illness. So I asked Robin, April's best friend, to guest write this blog entry. This article is amazing and Robin gave April the greatest tribute by naming her daughter after her! I went to see Robin, her son, Brian and little April last week and took some special photos for this article. The photo of baby April wrapped so snug in the purple cloth is actually one of April's sweater. I thought it was very fitting that a piece of April that was left behind would get to hold the little baby named after her. ~ Wendy
APRIL
LYNN HACKER…MY FRIEND, MY ANGEL
I would have to say that January 25, 2010 was the worst day
of my life. That was the day that I lost my best friend to Cystic Fibrosis. I
knew this day would come; I just wasn’t ready for it.
April and I met in the first grade. We were inseparable from
the start. I remember one of our first conversations was about this strange
disease she had called Cystic Fibrosis. I had never heard of this before. What
was it? How did it affect her? I soon
found out how much this disease would affect April, her family and myself.
April and I would sit in class and talk about school, boys
and what we were going to do that weekend. Through the first few years of our
friendship, April seemed like any other kid. Sure there were times when the
disease was evident through her coughing spurts, but otherwise, she was just
like me. As the years went by, the disease became more evident. Every time we’d
laugh, we had to take time to calm down, let her coughing pass, and allow her
to regain her breath. I became
accustomed to the sound of her coughing through our conversations. Eventually
the sight of her taking handfuls of medication a day and self-administering
shots of insulin became the norm.
Senior year of high school came. This was our year! We were
going to rule the school! Unfortunately, most of April’s senior year was spent
more in the hospital than in school. There were countless times when I would
drive to April’s house after school to drop off her homework because she was
too weak to attend that day. But, we finally made it! The school year came to
an end and we were high school graduates. For me, it was off to college an hour
away; for April, she decided to attend school closer to home. We would still
keep in touch, texting each other the latest gossip, and I would see her when I
came home on weekends. Unfortunately, I
could see her health deteriorating every time I would come home.
In 2006, I met the love of my life. Jon. I couldn’t wait to
tell April all about him. She was so excited for me and immediately became
friends with him too. While she gave Jon the “best friend approval” she didn’t
fail to mention that if he would ever break my heart, she would hurt him. Of
course, she was kidding. She didn’t have to hurt him because we were married in
May 2009. At this time point, April’s health had greatly decreased, resulting
in her being on 24/7 oxygen. But, she was my best friend, and she was
determined to be in my wedding. So, she walked down that aisle, oxygen and all.
While she was too weak to stand up front with me, she sat in the first pew
supporting me the whole time. At the reception, she went to open yet another
canister of oxygen when she pulled the wrong lever and a huge hiss filled the reception
hall, which resulted in many startled guests. I looked back at April and she
laughed and laughed. That’s the April I loved, always finding the comedy in any
situation.
Finally! It was the following October that I get the call from
April that she is receiving her double lung transplant she had been waiting
for! All the coughing, wheezing and
medications were going to be a thing of the past. April was going to get a
normal, “breathing” life. The surgery went well. April had two brand new lungs
that worked. It was the strangest feeling to have a conversation with her that
didn’t involve a pause for coughing. She felt great, she looked great, and
everything was going really well. Shortly after Christmas that year, April was
admitted to the hospital for having difficulty breathing. It was a quick fall
from easy breathing to declining health. April was becoming weaker, and required a
second double lung transplant. The surgery did not take. While she fought her
hardest, my best friend lost her battle with Cystic Fibrosis. I stood there, in
the hospital room, with my hand on her leg and watched as her breaths became
shallower, and finally stopped. I stood there in shock. I couldn’t believe she
was gone. This couldn’t be happening, it was all a dream. But it wasn’t a
dream, she really was gone. This person that I considered my non- biological
sister for 18 years was gone.
The weeks to follow were very hard. I had to stop myself
from picking up the phone and texting her some funny thought that came to mind.
It was a month after April passed away that I discovered I was pregnant. I
immediately knew that if this child was a girl, she would be named April. At
that time, God had a different plan. He blessed us with a boy. With the arrival
of our son, came some relief from the pain of missing April. But she was always
on my mind. I knew that my son had a guardian angel.
June 2013, I discovered I was pregnant again. We found out
that this time, we were having a girl. Here was our chance to pay our tribute.
April Lynn Beige was born January 29, 2014; 4 years and 4
days after April’s passing. I couldn’t think of a better tribute to give the
strongest woman I’ve ever met than to name my daughter after her. My daughter
will know about her name sake. She will know what kind of person April was. How
strong she was, how funny and caring she was.
I often think back to April’s funeral. There was a story
read about the butterfly and how struggles make us stronger. That is how I
think of April, she fought and fought to survive on earth, but her struggles
took her to her real home. Every spring,
I find myself watching a butterfly fly pass me, and quietly I say “Hey April.”
I know she’s always there. My friend, my angel. ~ Robin
Butterfly Story . .
. our struggles make us stronger!
“A man found a cocoon
of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the
butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that
little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it
had gotten as far as it could, and it could go no further.
So the man decided to
help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining
bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body
and small, shriveled wings.
The man continued to
watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would
enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in
time. Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life
crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to
fly.
What the man, in his
kindness and haste, did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the
struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God’s
way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it
would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.
Sometimes struggles
are exactly what we need in our lives. If God allowed us to go through our
lives without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as
what we could have been. We could never fly!”
–Author Unknown
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